Tuesday, January 29, 2013

She's Baaa-aaaack!


Sandi got the OK yesterday to be able to get out and run again. And last night she was texting me and setting up a time to get out this morning - even though it was supposed to rain all night last night.

"Let's do 12 miles!" said she.
"You've not done anything for TWO months!" said I.
"It'll be FUN!" said she. (That's one of her favorite things to say when I start whining.)
"We'll see" said I. (That's what I usually say when she says it'll be fun.)

We ended up doing 6.25 miles, and she KICKED MY BUTT!!!!!

I don't know what she was doing those two months that she was sick and sidelined. I think she must've been doing some kind of super-secret at-home training or something. ;) But the Drill Instructor must've kicked in this morning or something, because I was having to hustle to keep up with her. I was breathing hard, and now - 12 hours after getting home - my legs hurt.

Ahhhh, it's good to have my Sandi back. :D  Now I know I'll be ready for the mini in 3 months.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Entering the Home Stretch

Oh. My. Gosh.



When did that happen??

I had to date something today, so I looked at the calendar.

January 16th.

One month until my birthday. Or 4 weeks and 3 days, if you want to think of it that way.

But Oh. My. Gosh.

When I started this journey...this weight loss...this fitness...this blog, it was the middle of July. I had 7 long months stretching ahead of me. It seemed like it was soooo far away.

And now it's just One. More. Month.

Eh, I still have 6 pounds to lose before reaching goal. Or 5. Some days it's 4. Then it'll pop back up to 6 again. :)  And beyond my birthday, I still have to get in shape to do a mini-marathon at the beginning of May. So the journey is far from over.

But really, I've already accomplished the Big Thing. I wanted to be a different, better version of me by the time I turned 50, and I've already managed that. I didn't want to reach 50 still being the same out-of-shape, out-of-breath me that hated the way she looked in the mirror, hated trying to find clothes that looked decent, hated feeling tired all the time. I wanted 50 to not feel like the end of being young. 

(There are those who will argue that age is an attitude more than a number. But the way I was feeling, I was feeling old.)

I don't know what post-50 will hold. Jim is 56 - his hair is grayer, his vision is slowly deteriorating again, he's already had surgery for a torn rotator cuff just because of general wear and tear. My mom was 51 when her cancer was diagnosed and 56 when she died. So the next 10 years may change me quite a bit.

But when I hit 50, I'll be in the best shape I've been in in Y E A R S. I'm still not on any long-term medications. I can still see (with reading glasses) and hear (unless you mumble). My arthritis is better in my knees (that's been one of THE best effects of the weight loss) and my fingers are still agile enough to type and play the piano. 

I used to dread 50. It had a big black shroud hanging over it. It was the beginning of the end.

Now I can't wait to get there. 50 is going to be AWESOME!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Ruminations on an Empty Closet

A couple months ago, I went through my closet on a spree one night and pulled out a bunch of stuff that didn't fit anymore.

For the first time in my life, they didn't fit because they were too BIG.

They hung on me. Made me look like a waif. (Well, relatively speaking.) (Also, I just wanted to use the word "waif.") Or someone who had been sick for a really long time.

That was a couple months ago.

Last night, I went through my closet properly and pulled out everything Size 16 or XL and larger. Everything.


The pile covered my bed. Literally. There wasn't an open square foot on my queen size bed that wasn't covered with clothes at least 6" deep.

With the exception of a few sentimental items (the gown & robe I got for Christmas just after my mom passed away which she had chosen; a few shirts that had been hers; t-shirts from special events), nothing remains except Size 12 or 14 and size Medium or Large. I am determined to not allow myself the safety net of having clothes to grow back into. So everything has to go. In addition, I need new clothes that do fit, so I'm trying to sell what I can no longer wear and make a bit of cash to start the new wardrobe. (Well, it was already started with Christmas money, but it could still be expanded.)

Today I have spent the day photographing clothes so I can post them for sale. And many thoughts have been meandering through my mind.......

* I am blessed. I had enough clothes to be able to outfit a small family (of XL-sized women). So many people in the world are happy to have one regular outfit and one dressy outfit - or even just something clean to change into. I am obscenely blessed.

* I was XL for a looooooong time. There's a shirt that I wore to help chaperone a field trip to the skating rink when Kim was in grade school. There's the Hawaiian shirt and white slacks I bought specifically for a trip to NYC to see "The Boy from Oz" (which ran from 2003-04). There are the Cheer Mom t-shirts I wore when Kim was cheering with Midwest All-Stars, and the t-shirt from when I was the Chief Duncan Flagwaver. (It's a fannish thing, but it dates back to 1998 and "Highlander: The Series.")  There are my scrubs from when I worked at the hospital.

* I'm having to say good-bye to a lot of "favorites." The black drawstring linen pants that were sooooo comfortable. The pink/gray long knit dress that made me feel like an earth mother. The royal blue & black pantsuit that always got compliments. MY DENIM DRESS! *wail* I bet at least a half-dozen times today, as I went through clothes, I would think, "But that's my favorite!"

* I like being comfortable. Most of my clothes have been comfort-oriented rather than looks-oriented. If I looked good in something, that was just a bonus, but it had to feel good on me. And considering that I have football player shoulders for a woman, "comfortable" was always a challenge. Maybe that explains the smattering of men's shirts that I would wear - at least they were proportioned better for me.

* I have a cheeky side that oozes out once in awhile. How else do you explain the Tinkerbell blouse, the Tweety "Cool Chick" shirt or the Maxine "Don't Worry, Be Crabby" shirt? Then there's what Kim calls my hippie side - just look at all the broomstick skirts! (Thankfully, most of those are one-size-fits-all, so a lot of them are staying.) And somewhere in this person is a little girl who still wants to play dress-up and go to fancy dinners, as evidenced by the velvet bits in dark jewel tones.

* I am somewhat stuck in the time of my upbringing. I like pants that actually come up to my waist instead of low-riders (or hip-huggers, we would call them), and I do like the granny dresses and skirts - long and flowing free. Eh, maybe I am a flower child at heart.

In a way, this has been cathartic. It's both a realization that I'm saying good-bye to an old me and a determination to do everything I can to not let myself get back to being that version of me.

It has also been kind of sad. Sad because of the memories connected with certain outfits. Sad because...well, that's a LOT of clothes I won't have in reach anymore to pull out and wear. 

:deep breath:

Ah well. I've never been one to dwell in the past, and this will be no different. Time to post these things and try to sell them so I can have money to go shopping again.

Shopping. Trying on NEW clothes. Clothes that LOOK good on me (AND are comfortable!).  Clothes that are a little sassy, a little bright, maybe a little flashy, because I don't mind now if people notice me or what I'm wearing. Yeah...this is a good thing.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year! Happy New Me!

Happy New Year!

And with that, I've officially survived The Holidays!

It's a good thing they're over. I didn't go into the holidays planning to lose any more weight. I had mostly hoped to maintain where I was. And "where I was" was at 170 pounds on November 14th.

This morning, I was at 168. Of course, the week before Christmas I hit a flu-induced low of 164. ;)  But I'm happy having dropped a couple of pounds through the most food-filled month of the year.

That was also considering that my exercise has become basically nothing the last couple of weeks. It got cold. Sandi is still sidelined. There was a month-long stretch where the work load was nuts. (YAY!) And Ethan has been out of school, so he's been staying with Mee-Mow and Num-Num while Mommy works. Between all of those (blizzard, anyone?), the walking has come to a standstill. (No pun intended.)

The eating patterns did a slow descent into old habits, too. Big dinners, lots of food, cold weather making me want comfort foods (pasta!)...it all worked against me. Or, more accurately, I *let* it work against me. (It's like Ethan getting mad when someone *makes* him laugh.)

So here we are. January 1st. And it's time to get serious again.

Throw out the leftover cookies. Restock the fridge with a veggie tray and apple slices. Plan my meals for a few days so there won't be the last-minute throw-togethers. Start logging my food intake again. If the weather won't let me get out and walk, I need to get to Kim's and hit the elliptical. (But that may wait until Ethan's back in school next week.)

I have 8 pounds to go and 6 weeks to get there. I don't know that I'll make the deadline, but it'll be close. The important thing is to keep heading in that direction.


In case anyone missed it on Facebook, two major things have happened in the last 48 hours that involves this journey.

First, I have registered for the Festival 500 Mini-Marathon on the first Saturday of May. It's supposed to be a fairly easy (flat) course, with a typical registration of 35,000 participants. Actually, I'm more worried about the 7:30 a.m. start time than I am about the 13.1-mile distance or the required pace of 18 minutes per mile. But it gives me something to work toward through the spring.

Second, I went shopping today with some of my Christmas money. I love Kohl's - between the After Christmas Blitz and Clearance, and a 20% coupon, I scored 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of slacks, 6 sweaters and 2 summer tops for just under $200. And the really cool part?? The pants were all SIZE 12!! And while most of the tops and sweaters were a size large, one judiciously chosen sweater was a size MEDIUM. When I first tried on the size 12 jeans and they fit, I just stood in the dressing room and cried. And trembled. Literally trembled.

And then I came home and made Jim take a picture of me in the size 12 jeans and the medium sweater...just because. :)